Short Story of the Day-44: A CRY FROM THE CONSUMER BY WILBUR D. NESBIT

A CRY FROM THE CONSUMER BY WILBUR D. NESBIT

Grasshoppers roam the Kansas fields and eat the tender grass—A trivial affair, indeed, but what then comes to pass? You go to buy a panama, or any other hat; You learn the price has been advanced a lot because of that. A glacier up in Canada has slipped a mile or two—A little thing like this can boost the selling price of glue. Occurrences so tragic always thrill me to the core; I hope and pray that nothing ever happens any more.

Last week the peaceful Indians went a-searching after scalps, And then there was an avalanche 'way over in the Alps; These diametric happenings seem nothing much, but look—We had to add a dollar to the wages of the cook. The bean-crop down at Boston has grown measurably less, And so the dealer charges more for goods to make a dress. Each day there is some incident to make a man feel sore, I'm on my knees to ask that nothing happens any more.

It didn't rain in Utah and it did in old Vermont—Result: it costs you fifty more to take a summer's jaunt; Upon the plains of Tibet some tornadoes took a roll—Therefore the barons have to charge a higher price for coal. A street-car strike in Omaha has cumulative shocks—It boosted huckleberries up to twenty cents a box. No matter what is happening it always finds your door—Give us a rest! Let nothing ever happen any more.

Mosquitoes in New Jersey bite a magnate on the wing—Result: the poor consumer feels that fierce mosquito's sting: The skeeter's song is silenced, but in something like an hour The grocers understand that it requires a raise in flour. A house burns down in Texas and a stove blows up in Maine, Ten minutes later breakfast foods in prices show a gain. Effects must follow causes—which is what I most deplore; I hope and pray that nothing ever happens any more.

Grateful thanks to Project Gutenberg.